As some of you know, our family has been weathering some storms. It’s felt like we’re completely surrounded, attacked from every corner.
We’ve had cancer strike.
We’ve had one of our businesses shatter and a community, a city and a newspaper viciously attack our business partner.
And now this. This loss I can’t even begin to describe. A loss of a community, a family, a trust I had. Being asked to leave my community has devastated me.
And that’s in less than a month!!
What do you do when you find yourself in a small boat upon the angry sea during a violent storm? Anger has no benefit here. Grief and sorrow won’t do us any good. Swearing, finger pointing, name calling, and retaliation will only incite more hate… and that’s not what I need, nor does anyone else. Rather than finger pointing I’d like to offer my outstretched hand, not to offer help, but to ask for it. Please help me. Help me as I face this storm, to know I’m not facing it alone. Help me know that as I face the turbulence and anger inside myself, you’re listening… not to me, but to the small still voice within your heart. That’s where God is speaking to you (and to me). You can’t hear if you’re not listening.
We are all given hardships, betrayals, devastations, and losses. They aren’t meant to break us, but to make us stronger… stronger in our relationships, communities, in our faith. It’s about how we respond to these tests, where our hearts are positioned, that allows us to pull through them with any kind of wholeness. I can’t say that I haven’t had moments where I’ve been angry, unkind or venomous. I am trying to lean into my faith and use it as a crutch.
I had someone laugh at me once. They told me that having faith was like using a crutch, and at the time I took it as an insult and had no response. I didn’t have a strong faith then and the comment really stuck with me as the person who had jeered wanted me to feel weak. I wish I still knew them because I want to tell them this:
“I am weak! I need a crutch. I need the help of my God, why would I want to walk on my crippled legs alone? He is here beside me, arm under my shoulder, helping me upright. It’s when I let go and try to do it all on my own when I stumble”
I want to take this moment to publicly state that there is a storm, and I am not afraid, for I know I’m not alone. I know that God has a hand in whatever is going on and I will trust. I know that my Father, my family and my friends are in the boat with me in this storm.